I’m sure you have goals, most of us do, but are you really clear on what they are and how you will achieve them? How else will you know when you have arrived at your destination? This isn’t just writing out your SMART goals either, though we will cover that, here are some questions you may want to ask yourself to help you get clear on what your goals are, grab a pen and paper and scribble your answers down:
Tell me what you want, what you really, really want?
I am assuming you have a rough idea of your goal in your head. Now ask yourself honestly – Is it something you really want or is it something you think you should want, is it something you are passionate about or do you think it will make people respect you more? If getting stronger is your goal, is it because you want to feel powerful? Will it help you enjoy a better quality of life? Or have you seen ‘strong is the new skinny’ banded about so you feel as though it is something you ‘should’ want? If you only had 6 months to live would you still pursue this goal, would you feel as though it was worthwhile? Is it something you feel excited about? And why now? What has started the ball rolling with you wanting to achieve this goal?
What is the destination?
What will reaching your goal look and feel like? If your goal is to lose weight what does it specifically look like, it’s not just about losing weight surely? If it is, have a poo and walla, you have lost ‘weight’ congratulations your work here is done! But if it is about more than that – what is different about your life when your goal has been reached? Can you walk for longer, are you feeling more confident? Wearing different clothes? If your goal is not aesthetic related – say you want to get fitter – what are you doing when you’ve reached your goal? Walking upstairs without feeling breathless? Being able to do a pull up? Going on long bike rides comfortably? Running a marathon?
What will make it feel like “Yes, I’ve done it!” ?
Where are you starting your journey?
Is this the first time you have attempted this journey? Or like many of us when trying to reach goals, have you had a few false starts? If you have tried before and you didn’t make it, don’t be disheartened. Everything in life is trial and error and if you have had false starts you are in a very good place to assess what you have done in the past, what worked for you and what didn’t? Don’t let fear of failing again trap you in your comfort zone! What you have done so far to get to your goal? Don’t berate yourself if it is nothing, just start trying some things, learn what works for you!
Who am I?
What is your goal and does it fit with your values? Does it fit in with your priorities? Are you able to make the sacrifices such as getting up an hour earlier to workout or changing your diet, do you have the time to put in the work to make it happen? Are you willing to change and grow to make it happen?
Is my goal SMART?
Can anyone who looks at my goal know exactly what my goal is within 5 seconds? SMART goals are
Specific (Who, what, where, why)
Measurable (You should be able to track your progress)
Achievable (Goals should be challenging but not completely out of reach)
Relevant (Is the goal relevant? Does the result benefit you?)
Timed (You need a deadline)
Don’t get dragged down by over planning!
You have probably heard “ If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” and while that is true some of us fall into the trap of over planning which can delay us from actually starting the journey to reach our goals. Map out your SMART goals and take action right away!
Do you believe you can do it?
When you think of the goal you have set, do you really believe it is possible? Lack of self belief will hinder you, expect to be successful. I’m not saying you aren’t going to have any doubts, some doubts are fine initially but you must believe that you’re going to succeed.
1)Take a break
Even if we are facing something very real, feeding your own panic only fuels intrusive and unhelpful thoughts and feelings. To gain a realistic perspective take breaks from social media and from googling news stories.
2)Take care of your mental and physical well-being.
In uncertain times it is quite easy to drink more alcohol than you normally would, so keep an eye on such things. Exercise, stretch, meditate and try to ensure you are getting enough sleep. (I write this as someone who uncharacteristically drank whisky on a week night last night and who had a very disturbed night’s sleep. I will do better this evening, chill evening, no booze and bed for me)
3)Find a way to chill out!
Try to do activities you enjoy or find new ones.
Make use of whatsapp, texts and the minutes you never use on your phone plan. Talk to people you trust about how you are feeling and don’t shame each other. We are all human and all have different ways of dealing with things
5)Eliminate feelings of helplessness
Don’t focus on what you can’t do but on what you can do. Focus on what you are able to control.
1) "Anthems" by Broccoli content is a collection of original manifestos, speeches, stories, poems and rallying cries written by exceptional women.
Being under 10 minutes each, it's great to start your day with, each podcast is themed with a word that you can use to focus in on and inspire you!
2) The guilty feminist discusses topics that all 21st century feminists agree on while confessing their insecurities, hypocrisies and fears that undermine them.
As well as being incredibly funny, this highlights issues facing women today. Myself and one of my best friends definitely bonded over this podcast.
3) The MIBA podcast is hosted by Leona Burton and Estelle Keeber, two incredible women who grew a £250,000 women's business network in a year. A true definition of 'women supporting women' they speak to inspirational women who we can all learn from.
4) Championing women's voices presented by June Sarpong OBE features women from business, sport, entertainment and activism to learn how to inspire and support each other. It's a great and inspiring listen for any commute.
5) Sex with Emily. Emily is a sex and relationship expert. Every woman deserves to own their sexuality and while not just aimed at women, Emily's non judgemental and excellent advice can really give you the confidence to know and ask for what you want.
Yay, It's pancake day on Tuesday! (P.s these are not American style pancakes, but the style served to me as a kid, I am from Wales, they are more like crepes if you're American)
These are my 'Vegan Protein Pancakes'
What you need to do:
Serves 2 people, you get 2 pancakes each yippeeeeee.
1) Tabata Timer
There’s nothing more annoying than having to check your timer while trying to immerse yourself in a HIIT workout. This app is a lifesaver, it has a very basic interface which lets you easily input and start a workout in one click, it has different ‘bell’ sounds for work and rest, so there’s no need to look at your phone until your workout is done.
Basically it’s a nice, simple, easy to use app.
This is a great app to motivate you to walk more, it’s basically a step counter that converts your steps into ‘Sweatcoins’ and you can use them to buy or purchase discounts on fitness and nutrition related products. I’ve managed to get some lovely things on here, such as a simply cook pack, magazine subscriptions and healthy snack bars for my little one. It just runs in the background of your phone and your ‘sweatcoins’ build up fairly quickly. You can also pool your ‘sweatcoins’ with family and friends to use them to purchase expensive items such as holidays.
3) Zombies, Run!
Look, I know not everyone is a Zombie fan. But I literally hate running, I’m more of a weight lifting type of gal, but this app makes me want to run!!!
It’s more of a game than a fitness app, you run to a storyline, you can use your own playlist (I purposely created a ‘metal’ playlist as I felt this to be more Zombie friendly - LOL)
Each time you run you complete a mission and get to be the hero, collecting supplies as you go to grow your base.
The only downside is that I got very attached to some characters and ermmm well it’s a zombie game isn’t it, don’t mean to do spoilers, but there obviously will be casualties.
4) The Walk
From the same creators as Zombie, Run! So I was obviously going to like this one. For days when a run seems too much or you’d just rather a long walk instead.
If Zombies aren’t your thing you may also prefer this one.
Basically you’re given a package that could save the world and end up walking the equivalent of the length of the UK. It’s really fun if you like immersing yourself in a story and you want to make walking a bit more fun.
I love this app, it allows you to go to different gyms without being tied into a monthly membership. It’s also great if you are traveling.
Myself and my husband use it to have a cheap spa day (lots of gyms include gym, swim, sauna, steam rooms and even spa pools) Nuffield Health and Village are very lovely fitness centres to visit.
Firstly, What is a gratitude journal?
It's what it says on the tin. It's a diary in which you record things that you are grateful for.
So what are the benefits of physically writing down the things that you are grateful for?
1) It helps you to improve your self esteem.
Keeping a daily journal of things that you are grateful for , helps you to appreciate the things you have and appreciate all that you have achieved - no matter how big or small. It can help you zone in on your own life and to stop comparing yourself to others.
2) It can help you to become more positive in your daily life!
When you see all the things you love about your life in written form, you tend to spend less time and energy focusing on negative things that are out of your control. Becoming more optimistic and giving most of your energy to positive things can have an amazing impact on your life.
3) It helps you to banish self limiting beliefs.
What we expect from life is what tends to show up. If you constantly think "Things will always go wrong for me" the that is what you will keep zoning in on. You stop looking for and seeing the opportunities around you.
However, If you are constantly showing yourself evidence of all the awesome stuff that happens in your life, you will start to expect it, start to spot the opportunities and start taking them!
It hasn't gone to plan. So first week and I have only been on one run and a bit of daily walking.... the shame. Sorry it's not much of an update..... must do better :/
The first thing you need to know about me is that I am not a runner. I like lifting weights but I hate running and I am crap at it. So let's go back to the beginning of August this year I'd won some fancy booze, mainly whiskey and bourbon and I luuuuuuurve whiskey and bourbon, this is where the trouble began.
I was joyous and merry, chatting with the husband and he says that there is a 10k trail run in Bristol in October, on the weekend of our anniversary, wouldn't it be romantic to do that together. Now on a normal day I'd tell him he was out of his fucking mind. But I was joyous as hell and felt capable of anything, also another thing you should know is that I love a bargain, I am a fully fledged 'yellow sticker warrior' and tough runner happened to be offering a discount over the next hour. I signed up there and then.
I started training the next day and oh my God, afterwards I was absolutely crapping it. I downloaded a coach to 10k app, which was 14 weeks in length, (I had less time than that) and it started with walk/run drills, the running drills were a minute long and I couldn't run for a minute.
I was panicking but I persevered and to my surprise every time I got better. I was so lush to see my progress on my fitbit app.
I did the 10k at the end of October, I got a medal - yippeee. Have I run since? Have I fuck!
Which is criminal after the joy I got from seeing my progress going up!
Therefore, I am starting #MondayMiles to keep myself accountable. Each Monday I will share with you how many miles I have managed to run in the week prior, along with the ups and downs. I will warn you now - I'll moan about it - a lot........
Trigger warning : Self Harm, eating disorders, suicide.
Myself and my mum went for a lovely long walk this morning. Being world mental health day we got around to talking about mental health. From a very young age I struggled with my mental health. Not being able to talk about it led to food restriction and self harm. My mum tried desperately to get the help and support that I needed. (I recall a doctor saying my scars were superficial and only surface wounds, as if it didn't count) it wasn't until I first attempted suicide that I was referred to a counsellor and then a psychiatrist.
It's infuriating to me that it seems that young people and their parents are still not getting the support they need.
1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer with a mental health problem at some point in their life. But still, mental health is still something people don't really talk about very much and we should.
Struggling with my mental health used to me feel so ashamed and weak. I couldn't talk about it and things just got heavier and heavier to deal with. It's so important to talk, if you feel awkward about talking to someone face to face - email them, just tell somebody how you are feeling. If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone you know you can email the Samaritans
I am not ashamed to say I have done this within the last year x
Do you remember when you were a kid and you did stuff, simply because you enjoyed it? You didn't worry if something you turned your hand to was going to turn out good, or make you a success, or if people would judge you? Sometimes you’d get the odd giggle or judgmental comment. But you managed to shrug them off, because you just did things because you enjoyed them, they made you happy!
But then, as we’d get older, the giggles and judgmental fodder thrown at us start to stick.
We start questioning if we should bother? Will this go anywhere? Will people laugh at us and think we are stupid? Is this a waste of our time?
I think back to me and my sisters as kids. Firstly, we were always playing 'businesses'. We invented libraries and restaurants. We had a jewellery business, we made little bracelets from plastic beads, but that wasn't enough for us, we made a little catalogue to go along with it and we'd try and make sales to our parents friends when they came around, telling them to buy it for their wives. We also like choreographing bodybuilding shows and dance routines to entertain ourselves. It was amazing and fun, we never questioned if it was stupid. We just loved doing these things.
I remember my older sister, feeling restricted by her fashion wheel, designing loads of amazing outfits on her notepad and watching fashion shows and freely sharing her thoughts on designs and designers.
I remember my younger sister writing full on books at 7 years old, full of exciting adventures and proudly sharing them with us.
I remember writing songs on my keyboard, protest style songs. I remember singing about poor little spiders and cows to my sisters and people who came to our house. I remember designing workout routines inspired by ‘Mr Motivator’ and excitedly showing them to people.
We were always proud of the things we created, but somewhere along the line, we got quiet about it. We started worrying about what the world would think of us. I think we each spent quite a chunk of our late teens and 20’s, like so many other people, worrying about what others thought of us instead of living life for ourselves. When you stop doing the things you love and start living to what you believe others expectations are you start losing little pieces of yourself. We are always told we have a short time on this earth but it feels a massive slog when you’re not true to yourself.
I am so proud of my sisters today. I still see them struggling between doing what they love and worrying about other people, as do I. But my older sister is working in fashion and my little sister has published two of her books.
It’s so important to start just doing things because we love doing them. I am not saying quit your job and start your own business, but honestly, if you loved drawing when you were a kid – start drawing again, If you loved writing – start writing again! Whatever it was, start doing it again because you enjoy it, do it for yourself without worrying if it’s good enough or what others will think of it!
It might turn into something amazing, it might turn into nothing or it might help you find pieces of yourself again.
This Is me:
I’m Emma, I train women (Offline and Online) who may struggle with their confidence and self esteem. I believe that women need more options that suit different lifestyles and needs, some of us don't have time to stick to a rigid plan, some people are to scared to even set foot in a gym (I have been there).